Image by cheerfulmonk via Flickr
My goal is to reveal everything I have learned about communication success, so you will have better relationships with everyone, particularly with the difficult people in your life. I have been working in the field of practical neuroscience since 1992, with Deanna Phelps, my business and life partner. We have simplified science-based communication practices that increase rapport and understanding with nearly anyone.
Isn’t it amazing, despite our technological advances, that we still have nagging and persistent problems communicating with our partners, parents, children, friends and the people we work with? What if you could transform your difficult relationships into great relationships, built from bonds of understanding and respect?
These principles will help you analyze and understand your relationships:
- People you have great relationships with are most likely those who share some of your characteristics. This is the basis of membership clubs and small start-up businesses.
- People you have difficult relationships with are most likely very different than you. These people probably have good relationships with people like themselves.
- Everyone is unique due to his or her personality, life experiences, opinions, and brain wiring to receive and process information. Diversity is strength when we respect and use it for good purposes.
- People do things and respond for their reasons, not yours. Don’t take everything so personally.
- Everyone, despite what you may think, is doing the very best they can with their state-of-mind (in any given moment) and the internal resources available to deal with what is going on. Be more compassionate.
I hope you agree that the main purposes of communications are:
- Understanding one another
- Learning and teaching
- Sharing points-of-view
- Providing information
- Giving instructions and directions
- Making decisions
- Solving problems
When you and another person acknowledge and accept one or more of these desired outcomes you are more likely to succeed. This one simple act establishes the real and noble purposes of communication. Displacing “getting your way,” “being right” and “driving home your point-of-view” eliminates 90%, or more, of the problems that create anger, frustration, confusion, push-back and wasted time.
Once you have agreed on the topic and the purpose of the interaction, the remaining activity is exchanging information on each other’s wavelength. This process transcends personality and behavioral differences. It simplifies communication and saves valuable time.
The science-based principles of communication rapport are based on brain wiring.
1. Communicate on each other’s strongest sensory pathways:
Visual Learners Need: Visual media, Key Written Points, Pictures, Graphics, Images, Color, Clutter-free Environment
Kinesthetic Learners Need: Physical Activity, Hands-on Experiences, Comfort, Freedom to Move,Frequent Breaks
Auditory Learners Need: Clarity of Words, Attentive Listening, Ability to Ask Questions, Quiet Environment
2. Present sensory information in ways each person can best cognitively process and make sense of it.
Sequential Thinkers (“left brain”) Need: Logic, Order, Particulars, Realism, Practicality, Data, Schedules, Content
Global Thinkers (”right brain”) Need: Possibilities, Options, Generalities, Open-ended, Big Picture, Context
I have attempted to demystify and simplify the communication process. The first step of establishing desired outcomes helps displace emotional and egotistical elements that waste time and create problems. The second step of communicating on each other’s wavelength is based on sound, safe and respected neuroscience research. Please try these true and proven ways to increase communication rapport and understanding. Enjoy the journey.
Brain PathWays provides comprehensive tools to improve communication effectiveness with anyone by 25% to 40% or more. Learn how you prefer to receive and process information. Identify the people with whom you are most and least in rapport. Your 14-page comprehensive and personalized report provides you with the awareness and tools necessary to navigate your rapidly changing world.
Related Articles
- The Secret Why Some People Excel in Communications (brainpathways.wordpress.com)
- It’s “How”, not “What” You Communicate That Matters the Most (brainpathways.net)
- Your Brain and Business: The Neuroscience of Great Leaders, Rough Cuts – informIT (informit.com)
