Have you ever wondered why it’s so difficult to change your thinking and the behaviors that no longer serve you? How many times have you made “New Year’s resolutions” and weeks later experienced frustration, guilt and a sense of failure?

Everyone’s life consists of a blend of positive and negative programming that defines quality-of-life. You are a product of childhood encoding, education, relationships, social programming and your tapestry of life experiences. Your brain takes in and processes sensory information; it continuously interprets, filters and associates emotions and value with what you are experiencing. Your memory is your internal GPS to make sense of and navigate life.

Values, experiences, likes and dislikes, opinions, knowledge, passions and emotional trigger points make everyone different and unique. This is called neurodiversity. The vast and infinite array of neurodiversity is a challenge to understand and manage on an individual level. The challenge increases exponentially when people live, interact and work with one another.

There are three fundamental reasons why it may be difficult for you to make lasting changes in your life:

• You may not believe it’s possible

• You may be strengthening the very thinking and behaviors you want to change

• You may not know how to change your internal programming

You can trust in the power of your brain to make sustainable changes in your life. Neuroplasticity is a property of your brain, allowing it to continuously grow and learn. Your brain is dynamic, not static. One hundred billion neurons are the building blocks for memory. You have infinite capacity to change and be more flexible, adaptable and resourceful.

Most people seem to focus on what they want to change rather than the outcomes they truly desire. Dwelling on what you don’t want actually strengthens the neural networks that create your outer experiences. Saying, “I am sick and tired of being broke and living from hand-to-mouth,” actually reinforces and continues the endless cycle of living in a world of scarcity rather than experiencing abundance and prosperity. Replacing what you don’t want with what you do want is a practical neuroscience way to make sustainable change possible.

Your brainpower and memory were built both consciously and unconsciously. Conscious choices may include education, associates, hobbies, interests and careers. Negative, unconscious elements may have come from childhood experiences and social brainwashing that created emotional wounds, faulty thinking, bogus information and incorrect opinions. Doesn’t it make sense that if life experiences created your current reality, you can rebuild new and more powerful programs that reward you with a better and more fulfilling life?

In conclusion, the good news is you can keep what you like in your life and change what you don’t want. Focusing on what you like and want is the key to success.  You are equipped with the most amazing mass of protoplasm in the world; your miraculous brain. It’s an inside game, and only you can play it.

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I frequently ask participants in our practical neuroscience workshops to raise their hands if they see themselves as “leaders.” Typically, 10% to 30% respond positively, even in a group comprised of managers and supervisors in their organizations.

Follow-up questions and exercises reveal that most people have an aggrandized view of “leaders,” picturing them as “special” and other than themselves. They frequently describe and see “leaders” as corporate executives, heads-of-state, social and religious spokespersons and people who have many followers. This view, in my mind’s-eye, limits one’s potential to live a more fulfilling life and help others do the same.

When “leader” is defined as an individual who interacts and influences the people they live and work with, almost everyone admits to being a “leader.” Taking this principle to a practical level, leadership qualities most admired seem to be:  

• Consistency and dependability. Consistency and dependability are qualities based on how you experience others and how others experience you. These others are individuals you live and work with; they are also people you experience through the media, like politicians, heads-of-state, corporate chiefs and people in charge of policies that affect your quality-of-life. It’s disruptive, confusing and difficult to assess what’s going on with inconsistent positions, behaviors, words and actions. Behaviors signals embedded values. The gift of consistent “low road” or “high road” behaviors is being able to determine with whom and what you want to align.

• High Values. “High road” values like visibility, honesty, fun, teamwork, compassion, family and prosperity seem to resonate with many people. I believe the root cause of chaos in families, organizations and between countries is the diverse range of “low road” and “high road” values. Values drive behaviors. Behaviors establish positive or negative environments.  Positive environments help everyone be the best they can be and neutralize volatile situations. Values establish the common ground in which people can accomplish common goals and enjoy the benefits of their work.

• Shared interests. Shared interests almost always bring people together to support one another, explore possibilities and discover what they can achieve through cooperation. When shared interests yield shared benefits, the group tends to work together and stay together.  This is the basis of successful marriages, families and organizations. The caveat is that consistent behaviors and shared values must be present to create sustainable relationships, organizations and political stability.

You impact others much more than you realize and there are always opportunities for improving relationships and situations.  To become a more conscious and successful leader, I suggest starting by identifying three of your most important personal values. Then record the “high road behaviors” associated with each value. In this way, you know for sure you are practicing your values; and others will experience your consistency and dependability.  Finally, for each behavior, think about and record the outcomes that occur when you practice your “high road” behaviors.  As an example, if “Fun” is a value, the behaviors might be “doing what interests you, being light hearted, being grateful and non-judgmental;” outcomes may include “experiencing more fun in your life and bringing fun into the lives of others.” This exercise is highly transformative. You will experience almost immediate shifts in how you feel about yourself and receive positive feedback from others.

In summary, these three characteristics of leadership make up a simple and elegant model to live a higher quality life regardless of your education, career and personal situation. Pursue with passion the things that interest you and do no harm; you will attract others who will support and unite with you.  Practicing “high road” behaviors in everything you do will put you on the pathway to being a conscious and powerful leader.

I am hopeful that expanding awareness and respect for neurodiversity will help people become kinder, more understanding and more tolerant of the differences of others. My intent is to help people create better lives for themselves and others, through the power of their brains.

Each person’s unique brain wiring contributes to our neurodiversity.  Our brains have created our representational system for life, from childhood experiences to where we are today. The following are important facets or aspects of neurodiversity.

• Sensory and Cognitive Strengths – On the most foundational level, your favored sensory pathways to take in information (six combinations of Visual, Kinesthetic  and Auditory sequences) and process it cognitively (Sequential, Global and Integrated) should be leveraged for career and life success. When you are using your strengths, you are more productive, having more fun and happier.

• Your Gifts – Everyone has natural talents and gifts, even when they may not be obvious. Howard Gardner, Harvard Psychologist, says we possess combinations of 9 intelligences: Visual/Spatial (Picture Smart), Bodily/Kinesthetic (Body Smart), Musical/Rhythmic (Music Smart), Logical/Mathematical (Number Smart), Linguistic (Word Smart),  Intrapersonal (Self Smart), Interpersonal (People Smart), Naturalist (Nature Smart) and Existential (Spiritual Smart). Our gifts shape our interests and help define what we are good at doing. Using our gifts contributes to inner joy and satisfaction.

• Interests and passions – Your interests and enthusiasms about life (e.g. career and life goals, music, art, cooking, health, sports, learning, nature, and hobbies) should be explored with zeal, as long as they satisfy you and cause no harm or injury to others. Your interests and passions are shaped by your natural gifts, early childhood and life experiences.

• Knowledge – Most subjects taught in the educational system provide useful knowledge to navigate life. The internet contains true and helpful information along with false and misleading information. It is best to trust teachings from reliable sources. Constructive and integrous knowledge are building blocks for a purposeful and fulfilling life.

• What we experienced as children – Young children are particularly susceptible to believing and retaining, as memories, what they experience, hear and see. Our early programming (birth through age 7) has a profound impact on our values, behaviors and how we interpret and respond to life.  If life is not going well, it may be productive to think about and sort out what was useful and what may have been harmful and untrue from your childhood, or even adulthood experiences. These include negative programming like, “you are stupid,” “you can’t trust…,” “you can’t escape the reality of…” Any belief that limits your peace-of-mind and ability to grow and change your life for the better is eligible for scrutiny and change.

• Social programming – Even the adult brain can be highly naïve, consciously/unconsciously taking in and believing what it reads, sees and hears.  Beware that social programming runs rampant on the internet, television, radio, in the print media, workplace and literally everywhere people interact with one another. The brain cannot discern truth from falsehood, particularly when it is bombarded with repetition from people you may respect. Mass hysteria and the “Henny Penny effect” can easily occur, even with intelligent and educated people. Just look about you and identify where social programming negatively and positively affects quality-of-life.  Social programming can build opinions we hold true and defend with vigor, forming the basis to attack others.

• Values – Values drive behaviors. They come from life experiences and what we hold to be “true.” We can control our behaviors and the resulting outcomes by constantly up-shifting our values to higher levels. When we experience conflict, fear and pain, it is an ideal time to examine our values and beliefs.  Questions to ask include: “How can I look at this situation differently?” “What do I really want as an outcome?” “What behaviors will give me the outcomes I want?”

• Emotional “hot buttons”- We all have many emotional hot buttons that initiate a wide range of feelings from highly negative to highly positive. Certain songs may trigger feelings of sadness or happiness, making us want to sing aloud, dance or cry. A person’s “look” or body language may set off a range of interpretations, such as acceptance, approval, rejection and judgment. Words and tone-of-voice can stimulate our emotions in positive or negative directions. Photos and imagery affect our mood state. A “tailgater” may set off “road rage” or may signal an increased need to stay calm. The thought of public speaking may generate a panic attack or provide a feeling of positive excitement.  Emotional “hot buttons” are the brain’s way to create feelings for strong memory imprints. Trying to put your brain in “neutral gear,” when your negative emotional “hot buttons” are pushed to the limits, will help you regain composure to think clearly. There is some truth to “counting slowly to ten” when you are emotional.

• Beliefs, Opinions and Prejudices – Nearly everyone thinks their perception is right, when experiencing a situation, processing it through their “brain programming” mechanism and placing it into memory. This process is continuous and subtle. There is potential for trouble, when we defend our positions, beliefs, opinions and prejudices, thinking that we are “100% correct” and other people are “wrong.” The litmus test for questioning your position is when you experience conflict with others or when barriers and obstacles seem to block you from achieving important goals and desired outcomes. Maybe this is a good time to listen to the points-of-view of others and question the validity and usefulness of your own beliefs.  Ask yourself, “Do my beliefs and opinions serve me and others in positive or negative ways?” You may be surprised at how quickly you can get back into the flow of life, when you release your tight grip on outdated and faulty thinking and take the time to understand other people’s points-of-view.

In summary, I believe that neurodiversity is an unrecognized strength of the human race that can be used constructively to improve quality-of-life. Our neurodiversity gives us what we want in life, but it also gives us what we don’t want. Faulty programming causes faulty decisions and misinterpretations of situations. The good news is that we can reprogram our brains to override what we don’t want, gaining more of what we truly desire. If you want different and better outcomes, change your thinking.

Image by Keturah Stickann via Flickr

Statistics indicate that about 1 in 10 people have some degree of hearing loss, with the prevalence of loss increasing to 3 in 10 over the age of 65. A major cause of hearing loss is thought to be loud noise from high volume music, children’s toys and industrial settings.  Safe and cheap ways to stave off the purchase of a hearing aid are wearing hearing protection in loud environments, turning down the volume and educating friends and children of these facts.

“Listening loss” is far more prevalent than “hearing loss.” About 80% of the population least prefers Auditory (listening) inputs, when taking in information. Is it any wonder that meetings are long and people don’t understand one another, when the “transmitting style” is Auditory and the preferred “receiving styles” areVisual and Kinesthetic?  Frequent mistakes are made in business and personal interactions when people have to act upon and pass on Auditory information, instructions and directions. Most students struggle in learning situations involving lectures with a minimum of things to look at and do, because the “teaching style” is misaligned with their “learning style.” The world would be more effective and peaceful if we were better listeners.

Listening Aids

Listening aids are Free. They improve relationship rapport, facilitate understanding, avoid costly mistakes and free up more available time. The practical neuroscience methods for improving listening skills shown below apply to 80% of the population. For those of you whose primary or secondary preferred pathway to receive sensory information is Auditory, you are already attentive and patient listeners, ask great questions, remember and trust what you heard and can read tone-of-voice to detect incongruence reliably; you think about the meaning of words and are good at crafting language for talks, presentations, contracts and copy.

• Be More Visual: Look at the person in face-to-face situations. Comfortable eye contact communicates that you are paying attention. Observe their body language; what is it communicating? Take notes. Let the other person see your notes. Ask them to use a white board or flip chart or outline key points on a piece of paper. This helps understanding, because you are integrating a primary sensory pathway (Visual) with Auditory.

• Be Less Visual: In a lecture situation or on the phone, close your eyes occasionally to remove visual distractions; this helps you focus on what is being said. You can still take notes with your eyes closed.

• Be More Kinesthetic: Engaging in a physical activity, such as moving about respectfully or squeezing a Koosh ball while listening, may help you process Auditory information. You may offer to take a walk or share a meal with another person who wants to have a discussion with you.

• Be More Auditory: Listen to the tone-of-voice. Is it in alignment with what is being said? Ask questions to clarify the meaning of what people are saying and any incongruence you sense between the words and tone-of-voice. Paraphrase what you heard.

In conclusion, “listening loss” is outpacing “hearing loss” at seemingly epidemic rates. The advent of smart phones with visual/kinesthetic texting, games, email and the internet seem to be further defocusing our attention from crafting and listening to the spoken word. Practical neuroscience methods easily and quickly improve listening skills, so we can have greater connectivity and richer relationships with people at home and work.

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Do you want to make and keep promises and resolutions nearly 100% of the time? What I am about to reveal is practical neuroscience-based. It requires less personal will power and time than traditional methods. Besides, there is no guilt involved with this safe and sure-fire method.

Understanding the practical neuroscience behind making and keeping promises and resolutions is your key to success. It’s simply not enough to state an intention, perhaps write it down on an index card and believe that the change will miraculously occur. This is why most people fail.

What are promises and resolutions?

Healthy and positive promises and resolutions involve changing something in your life because you see potential value. The change may reduce suffering and pain or give you something that that makes life less stressful. Healthy and positive promises and resolutions do no harm to you or others, only good occurs.

Examples of promises and resolutions include:

• being more honest and authentic
• achieving  financial peace of mind
• eradicating fear and anxiety from your life
• building strong and caring relationships
• educating yourself
• experiencing better health
• paying off the mortgage
• losing 30 pounds

Your current thinking and behaviors are the result of years of self and societal programming. What you have heard, seen and directly experienced is recorded in your memory banks; repetition and the level of emotional energy determines the power of the memory imprint.  Your memories are what drives your thinking and how you react and respond to life. Not all of your programming has served you well; if it did, there would be little to change.

The bottom-line is recognizing that “change” does not usually come easily or quickly. This is because you have to overcome established memory imprints and patterns by building new, more powerful ones that supersede and transcend the ones that have not served you well.

How to make and keep promises and resolutions

Take your time to think deeply about these questions. It’s important to write down your responses and perhaps have a candid discussion with someone you trust, who cares about your well being. These powerful, transformative practical neuroscience methods build new neural pathways for a better and less stressful life.

• What do you want to achieve? State a specific outcome, like “I weigh 30 pounds less, feel energized and run a mile in 7 minutes; I hear people ask how I do it.” Avoid stating what you don’t desire, such as “I don’t want to be fat anymore and hear people say I should lose my belly fat and exercise,” because your brain will focus on being fat and hearing the negative comments. Put your desired outcomes into “present moment language” as if you have already achieved what you want. This simple act will cause your brain to think differently and escape from negative programming. Write down your desired outcomes, look at them and say them aloud daily, with feeling and conviction.  It’s essential that you select what you want to change with great care; look at making change as a “triage” situation. Pick the one that has the greatest long-term value and increases your quality of life. Achieve one at a time before moving on to the next one.

• What are the specific behaviors that support what I want to achieve? If you have problems thinking this through, start with the negative behaviors that created what you want to change. Reverse each negative behavior into one that is positive and proactive. An example is “Eating too much rich and unhealthy food” to “Eating five small meals consisting of a healthy balance of protein, carbohydrates and fat.” Be highly specific in describing the behaviors that represent your “new self.” Develop and write down between three and five new behaviors. Construct a “mind map;” cut out photos from magazines or download images from the internet that visually depict your new actions, activities and manners. This practical neuroscience step is your navigation system for your “new and improved you.”

• What will life be like, when experiencing my new behaviors? Imagine yourself having achieved the desired changes and outcomes in your life. What does it look, feel and sound like? Are you more fulfilled and sense greater control of your life? Will you be an inspiration to others? Can you see yourself helping others improve their quality of life? Again, create a mind map and/or put together a storyboard showing what your new life looks like. You may want to combine this with the preceding visual images. These steps keep your brain motivated and focused on what you want to achieve, how to go about it with your new behaviors and what your new life will be like.

In conclusion, most people fail in keeping their promises and resolutions because they do not understand the practical neuroscience process to reprogram their brains for new behaviors. You can trust your brain to achieve new outcomes after you describe what you want in specific positive terms and envision life with your new behaviors and activities. Linking your desired outcomes with deep positive feelings keeps you focused and motivated.  Daily viewing of compelling and attractive visual images accelerates building new brain pathways to a better life. Making one resolution or promise at a time maximizes success in a shorter period of time.

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“Peace on earth, good will toward humankind” is a high road, universal message to spread throughout the year. The message is relevant to all places and situations, regardless of one’s religious and spiritual beliefs. If you are reading this article, you undoubtedly care about others as well as yourself, the marker for “good will.”

We have been writing articles on practical neuroscience, developing brain-based human development products and doing workshops and talks since 1992. We deeply and strongly believe that practical neuroscience embraces “peace on earth and good will.” Here are some central ideas around this premise.

• We are all unique beings with different brain wiring that affects our gifts, interests, careers, emotional trigger points, relationships and the way we navigate life.

• Our brains are the most miraculous mass of protoplasm in the known universe. The brain is capable of self-analysis, growing more powerful, accessing genius thinking and solving problems.  Collective brains that share high values and goals are the most powerful transformative energy to move quality-of-life to higher plateaus.

• We all do things for our own reasons, not the reasons of others. Judging others is a form of attack that erodes good will and cooperation.

• Respecting and supporting the uniqueness and interests of other people creates good will and a more peaceful world; this is a marvelous and delightful act of kindness. Everyone wins.

• The really good news is that we are all capable of being better, kinder, healthier, happier and more successful human beings through leveraging the power of our brains.

• The world will be a much better place to live and prosper, when we focus on improving our own quality-of-life, without hindering others as they strive to do the same.

• Helping others improve their quality-of-life is a very high form of “service beyond self,” a Rotary International saying.

• Healing words like, “Thank you, Please, I appreciate and value this about you, Great job and I love you,” touch people’s hearts and minds, heal hurtful wounds and build stronger and healthier interdependent relationships.

Peace on earth begins with each individual. We must recognize that we are all doing the very best we can with the state-of-mind we are in and our available resources.  Always accept where you are with gentleness and forgiveness; recognize that your wonderful brain is your personal “Hoover Dam” to power the transformation of your life to levels beyond your wildest dreams. Helping others do the same will accelerate your personal process and is a practical, giant step to building “good will toward humankind.” Practical neuroscience works for anyone and everyone equally well.

Blessings and appreciation to you,

Stephen, Deanna,
Char, Monty and Chuck

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One of the landmark references to “team learning” appeared in Peter Senge’s Fifth Discipline (1990), where he said,  “The discipline of team learning starts with ‘dialogue‘, the capacity of members of a team to suspend assumptions and enter into a genuine ‘thinking together’ …. [It] also involves learning how to recognize the patterns of interaction in teams that undermine learning.”  Let’s look at, explore and expand Senge’s concept of team learning in the light of modern and practical neuroscience.

Team learning, thinking and performance form a coherent trio of what a team strives to do together. Dialogue is a method for communicating with one another about topics, situations and challenges of shared interest. The goal of dialogue includes expansion of individual and collective knowledge. Effective and successful communication requires all parties to be willing to exchange information with an open and flexible mind.

True dialogue involves understanding diverse points of view rather than defending a position and attacking others. Suspending assumptions and judgment about what’s true or false and surrendering the personal need to be right allow team members to make a giant step toward consciously learning from one another. This applies both to one-on-one and “team” dynamics in your personal and professional life.

If the true purpose of dialogue is “learning and thinking together,” perhaps most communication exchanges do not fit this description. Think about how much time the people you live and work with spend in true dialogue. “Non-dialogue” communications involve telling people what to think, defending and attacking, complaining, providing irrelevant information and emoting with the sole purpose of protecting one’s ego.

True dialogue can be conducted in two forms:

Non-directive dialogue is when two or more people get together with no specific agenda or topic. They meet in a quiet and comfortable environment, free from external interruptions and sounds. The idea of non-directive dialogue is to expose subconscious thoughts about what may be blocking or limiting team success and to reveal opportunities for breakthrough thinking. The process can be awkward and painfully slow for newcomers; expert facilitation is recommended.  At least one hour should be allotted for a session; this can be a problem when people are focused on the clock and getting visibly productive work done. Non-directive dialogue is a powerful and transformative procedure for team members who trust one another, feel safe in each other’s presence, are daring and willing to be vulnerable, and have the desire to “leapfrog” team performance.

Directive dialogue revolves around exchanging information important to team performance, with the goal of building core competencies, creating and improving products and services, solving problems and making good decisions. This can occur in meetings, retreats, email exchanges, phone conversations and teleconferences. Directive dialogue sessions have great potential for leveraging team member’s know-how and decreasing communication time. Teams rarely think about aligning their people’s interests and competencies with subject matter and the best ways and times to communicate, but team productivity and performance will soar when teams develop and implement their communication methodologies.

The missing link for team communication success is statistically validated information about each person’s sensory and cognitive pathway strengths for learning, thinking and communicating. This knowledge helps the team communicate effectively with one another and leverages their collective brainpower for “whole brain thinking.”  Foundational practical neuroscience data on how team member’s brains are wired for success is the basis for exceptional team learning, thinking and performance.

In conclusion, dialogue, whether directive or non-directive, is the “high road” pathway for team learning and thinking success. It involves suspending judgment, opinions and positions.  Successful dialogue requires open and flexible minds to understand diverse perceptions, observations and thinking.  There is no right or wrong in true dialogue; what matters the most is the apparent best course of action for the good of the team and its stakeholders. All teams benefit from leveraging their brain strengths for communication success. Practical neuroscience methods such as these are the ideal solution to strengthen team communication and accelerate team learning, resulting in greater team success.

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Peter Senge describes “building shared vision” as “a practice of unearthing shared pictures of the future that foster genuine commitment and enrollment rather than compliance.” His description and application applies, not only to teams and organizations, but also to couples, family units and any group of people that comes together for a common purpose. I want to share a fun and dynamic methodology to make shared visions real and meaningful for all the participants.

The characteristics and benefits of shared vision include:

• Visual portrayal of everyone’s  “picture of success”
• Focus on collective and mutually beneficial future outcomes
• Everyone’s voice is heard, respected and acknowledged
• Visibility of the group’s values that help guide “high road” behaviors
• Stakeholder buy-in, commitment and involvement
• Group and organizational performance excellence and sustainability

This practical neuroscience method has been field tested extensively with groups ranging from 3 to 50 people. The group participants may be a family, social organization, church committee, board of directors, sports team, business department or an entire organization. The process can be replicated multiple times in an organization to cover hundreds or thousands of people.

The Basics

• Every group member willing to participate is included without exception.

• The meeting room should accommodate all participants to sit in a semi-circle, stand and move about. Less than 30 participants at a time are recommended to allow for maximal participation and keep sessions under 2 hours.

• A large, smooth and unobstructed white board or wall, with space to post 7-10 flip chart pages, is required in front of participant seating. The flip charts are where the participants place their shared vision notes.

• Each participant is given an 8 1/2” X 11” paper with 6-8 colored Post-It notes. Additional Post-Its are available upon request.

• A skilled, non-participating facilitator, known for open-mindedness, flexibility and non-judgment should lead the session.

• No interruptions or questions are allowed when participants share their “pictures of success.”

• Order of participation is voluntary; everyone participates.

• Pre and post-applause for all participants is recommended.

The Process

1. The facilitator welcomes the group and explains the process and ground rules for sharing. Post-It notes and colored pens are provided for all participants.

2. Each person records a single idea of his or her vision, picture and description of success, per Post-It note. Description may be a key word, short phrase, value, headline, symbol, color, image, outcome, book, movie, song, event, award, number, dollar amount, sound, feeling, picture or virtually whatever comes to mind. Maximum of 12 ideas per person.

3. Pre-Applause for first volunteer. First Post-It is placed on any one Flip Chart page and said aloud for everyone to hear. Subsequent ideas are placed next to similar/associated themes or on a separate flip chart if the idea doesn’t seem to relate to the others. Post-applause with no comments or questions.

4. Pre-applause and post-applause for subsequent volunteers until all participants have shared their vision of success. The process reveals a colorful galaxy of “cluster pattern” themes that constitute the group’s “shared vision.”

5. The facilitator invites the group to walk around the flip charts for a closer look, name the themes and realign individual notes. Themes may include legacy, values, goals, customer benefits, team benefit and so forth.

6. The facilitator asks the group if any theme should be dropped because it is less important than the others are. All the groups I have facilitated say all themes are connected and equally important; this response is ideal and should be expected. The facilitator asks the group if they feel their voice has been heard and respected.  Finally, participants are given the opportunity to voice their takeaways and closing comments.

7. The flip charts and Post-It notes are photographed, transcribed and distributed to each participant. This process continues until all smaller groups, constituting the larger group/organization, have gone through their shared vision sessions. It is strongly advised that the materials be transformed into a colorful mind map for daily viewing, communications, meetings and events. The mind map should be magnified to poster size and hung in large reception areas or other areas where people learn, work and communicate. Smaller versions are made available for every participant.

In conclusion, implementing a “shared vision” session is immensely rewarding for all participants, their organization and the people they serve and interact with. The process connects each person’s mind, body and heart in a respectful way. It brings people together to work with shared purpose, common goals and desired outcomes. Creating a shared vision builds morale, trust and cooperation; it leverages the brainpower and heart power of the group for outstanding and sustainable outcomes.

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Peter Senge in his The Fifth Discipline: The Art and Practice of The Learning Organization (1990) describes mental models as “deeply ingrained assumptions, generalizations, or even pictures of images that influence how we understand the world and how we take action.” Mental models have profound impact on how we view, react to and respond to the world; they shape our decisions, relationships and quality-of-life. They affect us on all levels –personal, social, professional, organizational, national and global.

My purpose is to raise your level of awareness of what mental models are and how they operate.  Practical neuroscience principles and tools help you challenge, change and manage your mental models for a better, more peaceful and less stressful life.

Personal Observations of Mental Models

• Mental models are stored information and emotional imprints of how your brain perceived  and remembered direct personal experiences, as well as information learned from a third party or indirect source like the media.
• Mental models that yield harmful outcomes to you and/or others are good candidates for examination and changed thinking.
• Formed over time from accumulated information, mental models may also be developed quickly and deeply depending on their importance and emotional impact.
• Most people are unaware of their mental models, where they came from and their effects.
• Mental models are subtle and challenging to identify and describe.
• They seem to operate in a “back room” or subconscious part of our brain.
• Our mental models tend to get stronger over time as human nature wants to “be right” about its opinions.
• Mental models may or may not be verifiable through direct experience or independent observations from integrous people.

I believe the core question is “how well do my mental models serve me and others,” rather than “are my mental models right or wrong?” There is no right way of taking in and processing sensory information because everyone perceives and interprets information differently. A group of people agreeing on something doesn’t make it true; the process merely bonds the group around something they hold to be true. Needless arguments, and even wars, ensue due to differences of opinion about mental models.

Evaluating Mental Models

These everyday life situations give you a grasp of what mental models look like; each pair contains differences of mindset for illustrative purposes. As you look them over, ask yourself which ones might serve you and others best, rather than deciding on what may be correct or in error. The purpose of this exercise is to shift your focus to a “high road” or positive perspective for evaluating mental models. Hopefully, these examples will stimulate your thinking to write down your mental models that serve you well or poorly.

Low Road: Good ideas for innovation are drying up and there is limited opportunity for me to prosper.

High Road: Good ideas for new products, technology and services are endless and infinite.

Low Road: We live in a competitive world of scarcity.

High Road: We live in a world of boundless opportunity where situational cooperation is possible.

Low Road: Girls do poorly in math and science.

High Road: Anyone can learn what interests him or her, when in a supportive environment.

Low Road: You can’t trust people who look , act and speak a certain way.

High Road: There are trustworthy and untrustworthy people in all walks of life.

Low Road: In this economy, no one will interview me, much less, hire me.

High Road: I have transferable skills and positive traits that some employer is looking for.

Low Road:  I can’t trust myself behind the wheel due to my driving record and what my spouse says.

High Road: A refresher course will make me a safer, more dependable and better defensive driver.

Low Road: I can’t learn new things because I made poor grades and my teacher said I was stupid.

High Road: My brain has infinite capacity to grow, get stronger, learn quickly and make great decisions.

Low Road: It’s unlikely I’ll live beyond 73 because of my family health history.

High Road: Good health practices and a positive mental attitude will increase my quality-of-life and perhaps add years to my life span.

In conclusion, mental models are what we believe and hold to be true about life. They are our “software programming” that drives thinking, opinions and behaviors. There is always an outcome from every mental model, although they may not be obvious. People vehemently agree or disagree on the truth of their mental models. The defining moment for challenging a mental model occurs when the focus shifts to the desired outcome. Clarity can best be achieved by examining gaps between what is desired and the outcome that actually occurs. This is the only way I know to break the endless cycle of defending and attacking mental models.

Image by highersights via Flickr

Have you noticed that many people can’t remember what was said, interrupt others regularly, rarely ask genuine questions and generally have poor listening skills? Has attentive and respectful listening gone out of style since the advent of TV, computer technology, cell phones, texting and video games? I wonder if people were more “auditory,” from a listening standpoint, when distractions were fewer, people engaged in more mealtime conversations and radio was a bigger source of news and entertainment.

Our worldwide statistics show that 78% of the population least prefers to listen as a primary way to receive sensory information; these people prefer to take in information visually and kinesthetically. Why do people who least prefer to listen select talking as their preferred way to express themselves? Practical neuroscience and common sense reveal possible reasons and provide pathways to improve listening competencies.

Reasons Why People Talk More and Listen Less

• Lack of awareness: I believe most people are unaware of how their poor listening skills negatively impact rapport, harmony and understanding others. Interrupting, “tuning out” others and raising one’s voice to get attention serve no useful purpose; hurt feelings often occur and important information is lost. As a practical matter, meager listening takes a steep toll on valuable time that could be used for other things. At worst, important relationships can be put in jeopardy and may crash. These factors are why people benefit from being informed of how their brains are wired to receive and process information. Practical neuroscience reveals our sensory and cognitive processing strengths, thus providing a simple recipe to communicate with others in optimal ways.

• Busy Schedules: During an executive coaching session, I asked a person about his listening competency. His reply was, “it’s poor and I don’t care because I don’t have time to listen.” He went on to say, “I prefer to receive information by email, text and brief discussions when walking with a colleague to a meeting or during mealtime.” I asked him what impact his tactics would have on his morale and productivity if he walked in the shoes of his direct reports and peers.  He then asked how he could be a better listener; the Hot Tips (below) summarize what I suggested. Within a week of using these new “high road” listening tactics, this busy executive received positive feedback from three people saying they enjoyed working with him and it seemed like he was different person.

• Maintaining Control: As long as you are talking, you don’t have to listen, answer questions or respond to other people. A higher form of talking is using language understandable to others, stating the purpose of the communication and asking questions to confirm their understanding. Listening requires attention, focus, personal involvement and feedback. Attentive and respectful listening sends a strong message that you care about the other person; talking, alone, may introduce an element of doubt about your intention and integrity.

Hot Tips for Being a Better Listener

• Ask for the purpose and desired outcomes of the conversation.
• Respectfully, set a time period for the discussion, if time is an issue.
• Do not interrupt and impose your opinion.
• Ask questions to gain clarity and understanding.
• Listen for congruency of tone-of-voice and body language with what’s being said.
• Paraphrase what you hear.

In conclusion, improved listening skills pay big dividends of relationship rapport, mutual respect, understanding others and making effective use of available time. Based on statistics, most people should talk less and communicate more visually and kinesthetically. Practical neuroscience methods are the ideal solution for “transmitting” information on the preferred “receiving wavelengths” of others.

Related articles

• Can Practical Neuroscience Methods Help Adults with ADHD? (brainpathways.net)
• Three Secret Hot Tips for Exceptional Rapport and Communication (brainpathways.net)
• A Neuroscience View of Learning Styles (brainpathways.net)
• Practical Neuroscience Approach to Personal Mastery (brainpathways.net)
• Why Kinesthetic and Global Kids Fall Between the Cracks (brainpathways.net)