Family coat of arms (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Two marriages with a combination of five children and six grandchildren have been an experiential learning classroom for family living. Looking back at lessons learned, some very painful, combined with working in the field of practical neuroscience has motivated Deanna and me to share some simple and dynamic ways to improve family life. These practical neuroscience principles and practices will leapfrog family respect, communication and harmony. You may find some gems here if you are experiencing pain and chaos in your family of two or twenty.

Please consider the idea that every family member is doing the very best they can.  This applies to you, your spouse, your children, grandchildren and your parents. Accepting this idea may be difficult due to social programming, emotional reactions and the ego’s need to be “right.”  Practical neuroscience explains and supports this potentially controversial statement. Doing and being the very best you can is influenced in the moment by state-of-mind, complex human dynamics, personal demands, worries, health issues, stress, self-awareness, programming and having the proper tools to deal with each emerging situation.

Patterns of behavior have positive and negative effects on all family members. They are often subtle and can build slowly. Most people are unaware of destructive patterns until things “boil over.” If they are aware, they have inadequate tools to deal with them on a positive and proactive basis. So, on a moment-to-moment basis, everyone is truly doing and being the best they can be. No one is at fault, yet most people seem to think they are right and everyone else is wrong. This builds resentment, initiating attack and defense that serves no useful purpose. Hopefully, this provides some helpful insight into why it’s essential to be more compassionate for yourself and others.

A simple thought of practical merit, accepted by most people, is that everyone can improve and be a better person. Examples include being kinder, more compassionate, a better listener, available to help others, and becoming a role model for higher-road behaviors. The truth that we are all capable of doing and being better is the genesis for human development and improving family harmony.

Create your family shield of values

Everyone has values because values drive behavior and behaviors create your inner and outer experiences. Values have different grades or levels ranging from “low road” to “high road.” Behind each “high road value” is a “high road behavior.” Most people think they know something about values, but few really go beyond the surface level. Creating your family shield of values is a safe, fun and dynamic way to improve all aspects of family life.

Step 1: Setting the stage

Bring your family members together for an hour when distractions and emotional turmoil are minimal. Select an environment that is fun, safe, comfortable and inviting. Gently and compassionately, inquire if everyone is interested and committed to improving family life. Acknowledge that everyone is doing the best they can. Ask for agreement that everyone can be a better person and family life can improve if everyone makes small and consistent positive contributions each and every day. Have plenty of paper and colored markers or pens available. A flip chart is ideal for all family members to see their ideas acknowledged.

Step 2: Establishing the shield

Google the phrase “check list for personal values.” Select and print out copies of the resources that appeal to you. Each family member decides on two of their personal favorite and “highest values.” The values are recorded for all to see. The next step is for each person to think about and write down two to three associated behaviors for each of their personal values. As an example, if “fun” is a value, then possible behaviors are “more play time, lightheartedness, less judgment, sense of humor and being your natural and authentic self.” The behaviors should be recorded, positively acknowledged and discussed by all family members.

Step 3: Making and keeping the family promise

Consider creating your shield from internet graphic images that you can customize with your family names, values and behaviors. Have one or more family members with visual and graphic skills take on this task. Each family member can read aloud his or her chosen values and the behaviors they will practice. Applause before and after each person shares their promise is an affirming, “team building” practice.

Once your family’s shield of values has been created, post a copy in a common area like the kitchen, where all family members can see it as they go about their day-to-day business. This daily reminder reinforces practice of positive behaviors and encourages impromptu discussions about family values.

A great weekly or bi-weekly family ritual is coming together to acknowledge and compliment each other on the positive behaviors experienced from each person. Do this, even if there are only two of you.  “High fives” are usually appreciated. The ritual serves everyone and becomes a wonderful legacy to share with others and pass on to future generations.

In conclusion, self-forgiveness and forgiveness of others is the pathway to healing, harmony and human development.  Blame, attack and defense do no good for anyone. These behaviors deteriorate self-esteem and family relationships. Building your family shield of values is the pathway to making positive behaviors more conscious and deliberate and reversing destructive patterns of behavior.

English: Two New Year’s Resolutions postcards (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Most people experience difficulty when attempting to make sustainable changes in their lives.  This is due to the strength of prior brain programming. Your brain has stored virtually all memorable, important and emotionally charged experiences from childhood to the present moment. This existing programming drives behavior when you need to interpret and respond to life challenges.

Neuroplasticity is your brain’s potential and capacity to continuously grow, adapt and change. It is impractical and virtually impossible to erase prior memories and strong patterns of behavior. The only way you can make big changes in the ways you think and act is to build new and more powerful programs to transcend prior programming that no longer serves you.

A common pitfall that thwarts most people’s success in keeping their “New Year’s resolutions” is their focus on what they want to change rather than focusing on new desired outcomes. The process for sustainable change can be accelerated easily by using these practical neuroscience methods:

• Clear focus on what you want. If you have difficulty defining your desired outcomes, start by describing your current situation. As an example, “I am depressed about my health situation, low energy, and cranky attitude about life.” Then reverse the words and ideas into an ideal version of what you really want. This might look like, “I am trim and slim; I have energy to do whatever I want; I have a positive mental attitude.” Establish goals like, “I weigh xxx pounds; I can run a mile in x minutes; I ride a bike xx miles; people compliment my appearance and want to know how I did it.”

• Link behaviors to outcomes. Make comprehensive lists of the behaviors and actions associated with each desired outcome. Use visual images of your desired behaviors from magazines or the internet. Create a “storyboard” and “mind map.” For the example above, your new behaviors might include “taking a 20 minute walk each day; going to a health club 3 times a week; journaling each day, eating 4 small and healthy meals every day; getting a check-up from a trusted holistic health practitioner, taking 15 minutes a day to do something relaxing and fun; being less judgmental; reading positive affirmations.”

• Practice, practice, practice. World-class athletes often practice technique in their mind’s-eye before they actually move into physical action. Imagine doing all the behaviors you have listed. Use all your senses of how the behaviors feel, look and sound. Read your desired outcomes and behaviors while looking at your visual images; a storyboard or slide show is a great way to do this. You are building new and powerful neural networks during this easy and fun process. Repetition is the key. It’s best to do these exercises for about 10 minutes just before or after sleep. These are times when your brain is in a less active mode, called the Alpha state. This state is ideal for learning, memorization and deeply embedding new knowledge and behaviors.

When individuals actually perform an action (moving their fingers) and when they mentally imagine moving their fingers, activation is similarly detected in the supplementary motor area (SMA) and primary motor cortex (M1) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Trust the power of your brain. The above process is an “inside game” that only you can play. 10-minute “practice sessions” upon arising and before going to bed are all that is needed. A mid-day break in a quiet place for another 10 minutes will move you along more quickly. Soon, you will be startled to find yourself implementing the actual practices and behaviors in your daily life. This will come about naturally without exerting willpower or feeling a sense of sacrifice; it’s like being on “auto-pilot.” Experiencing the meeting of your inner and outer worlds is exciting and fun. Continue doing the inner-world practice along with your outer-world practices until you reach your desired outcomes and goals. If you have a temporary relapse, review and fine-tune your inner-world process, then restart your mind’s eye practice. Anyone willing to implement this easy and safe practical neuroscience process to improve quality of life can succeed at making sustainable life changes.

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Have you ever wondered why it’s so difficult to change your thinking and the behaviors that no longer serve you? How many times have you made “New Year’s resolutions” and weeks later experienced frustration, guilt and a sense of failure?

Everyone’s life consists of a blend of positive and negative programming that defines quality-of-life. You are a product of childhood encoding, education, relationships, social programming and your tapestry of life experiences. Your brain takes in and processes sensory information; it continuously interprets, filters and associates emotions and value with what you are experiencing. Your memory is your internal GPS to make sense of and navigate life.

Values, experiences, likes and dislikes, opinions, knowledge, passions and emotional trigger points make everyone different and unique. This is called neurodiversity. The vast and infinite array of neurodiversity is a challenge to understand and manage on an individual level. The challenge increases exponentially when people live, interact and work with one another.

There are three fundamental reasons why it may be difficult for you to make lasting changes in your life:

• You may not believe it’s possible

• You may be strengthening the very thinking and behaviors you want to change

• You may not know how to change your internal programming

You can trust in the power of your brain to make sustainable changes in your life. Neuroplasticity is a property of your brain, allowing it to continuously grow and learn. Your brain is dynamic, not static. One hundred billion neurons are the building blocks for memory. You have infinite capacity to change and be more flexible, adaptable and resourceful.

Most people seem to focus on what they want to change rather than the outcomes they truly desire. Dwelling on what you don’t want actually strengthens the neural networks that create your outer experiences. Saying, “I am sick and tired of being broke and living from hand-to-mouth,” actually reinforces and continues the endless cycle of living in a world of scarcity rather than experiencing abundance and prosperity. Replacing what you don’t want with what you do want is a practical neuroscience way to make sustainable change possible.

Your brainpower and memory were built both consciously and unconsciously. Conscious choices may include education, associates, hobbies, interests and careers. Negative, unconscious elements may have come from childhood experiences and social brainwashing that created emotional wounds, faulty thinking, bogus information and incorrect opinions. Doesn’t it make sense that if life experiences created your current reality, you can rebuild new and more powerful programs that reward you with a better and more fulfilling life?

In conclusion, the good news is you can keep what you like in your life and change what you don’t want. Focusing on what you like and want is the key to success.  You are equipped with the most amazing mass of protoplasm in the world; your miraculous brain. It’s an inside game, and only you can play it.

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I frequently ask participants in our practical neuroscience workshops to raise their hands if they see themselves as “leaders.” Typically, 10% to 30% respond positively, even in a group comprised of managers and supervisors in their organizations.

Follow-up questions and exercises reveal that most people have an aggrandized view of “leaders,” picturing them as “special” and other than themselves. They frequently describe and see “leaders” as corporate executives, heads-of-state, social and religious spokespersons and people who have many followers. This view, in my mind’s-eye, limits one’s potential to live a more fulfilling life and help others do the same.

When “leader” is defined as an individual who interacts and influences the people they live and work with, almost everyone admits to being a “leader.” Taking this principle to a practical level, leadership qualities most admired seem to be:  

• Consistency and dependability. Consistency and dependability are qualities based on how you experience others and how others experience you. These others are individuals you live and work with; they are also people you experience through the media, like politicians, heads-of-state, corporate chiefs and people in charge of policies that affect your quality-of-life. It’s disruptive, confusing and difficult to assess what’s going on with inconsistent positions, behaviors, words and actions. Behaviors signals embedded values. The gift of consistent “low road” or “high road” behaviors is being able to determine with whom and what you want to align.

• High Values. “High road” values like visibility, honesty, fun, teamwork, compassion, family and prosperity seem to resonate with many people. I believe the root cause of chaos in families, organizations and between countries is the diverse range of “low road” and “high road” values. Values drive behaviors. Behaviors establish positive or negative environments.  Positive environments help everyone be the best they can be and neutralize volatile situations. Values establish the common ground in which people can accomplish common goals and enjoy the benefits of their work.

• Shared interests. Shared interests almost always bring people together to support one another, explore possibilities and discover what they can achieve through cooperation. When shared interests yield shared benefits, the group tends to work together and stay together.  This is the basis of successful marriages, families and organizations. The caveat is that consistent behaviors and shared values must be present to create sustainable relationships, organizations and political stability.

You impact others much more than you realize and there are always opportunities for improving relationships and situations.  To become a more conscious and successful leader, I suggest starting by identifying three of your most important personal values. Then record the “high road behaviors” associated with each value. In this way, you know for sure you are practicing your values; and others will experience your consistency and dependability.  Finally, for each behavior, think about and record the outcomes that occur when you practice your “high road” behaviors.  As an example, if “Fun” is a value, the behaviors might be “doing what interests you, being light hearted, being grateful and non-judgmental;” outcomes may include “experiencing more fun in your life and bringing fun into the lives of others.” This exercise is highly transformative. You will experience almost immediate shifts in how you feel about yourself and receive positive feedback from others.

In summary, these three characteristics of leadership make up a simple and elegant model to live a higher quality life regardless of your education, career and personal situation. Pursue with passion the things that interest you and do no harm; you will attract others who will support and unite with you.  Practicing “high road” behaviors in everything you do will put you on the pathway to being a conscious and powerful leader.

I am hopeful that expanding awareness and respect for neurodiversity will help people become kinder, more understanding and more tolerant of the differences of others. My intent is to help people create better lives for themselves and others, through the power of their brains.

Each person’s unique brain wiring contributes to our neurodiversity.  Our brains have created our representational system for life, from childhood experiences to where we are today. The following are important facets or aspects of neurodiversity.

• Sensory and Cognitive Strengths – On the most foundational level, your favored sensory pathways to take in information (six combinations of Visual, Kinesthetic  and Auditory sequences) and process it cognitively (Sequential, Global and Integrated) should be leveraged for career and life success. When you are using your strengths, you are more productive, having more fun and happier.

• Your Gifts – Everyone has natural talents and gifts, even when they may not be obvious. Howard Gardner, Harvard Psychologist, says we possess combinations of 9 intelligences: Visual/Spatial (Picture Smart), Bodily/Kinesthetic (Body Smart), Musical/Rhythmic (Music Smart), Logical/Mathematical (Number Smart), Linguistic (Word Smart),  Intrapersonal (Self Smart), Interpersonal (People Smart), Naturalist (Nature Smart) and Existential (Spiritual Smart). Our gifts shape our interests and help define what we are good at doing. Using our gifts contributes to inner joy and satisfaction.

• Interests and passions – Your interests and enthusiasms about life (e.g. career and life goals, music, art, cooking, health, sports, learning, nature, and hobbies) should be explored with zeal, as long as they satisfy you and cause no harm or injury to others. Your interests and passions are shaped by your natural gifts, early childhood and life experiences.

• Knowledge – Most subjects taught in the educational system provide useful knowledge to navigate life. The internet contains true and helpful information along with false and misleading information. It is best to trust teachings from reliable sources. Constructive and integrous knowledge are building blocks for a purposeful and fulfilling life.

• What we experienced as children – Young children are particularly susceptible to believing and retaining, as memories, what they experience, hear and see. Our early programming (birth through age 7) has a profound impact on our values, behaviors and how we interpret and respond to life.  If life is not going well, it may be productive to think about and sort out what was useful and what may have been harmful and untrue from your childhood, or even adulthood experiences. These include negative programming like, “you are stupid,” “you can’t trust…,” “you can’t escape the reality of…” Any belief that limits your peace-of-mind and ability to grow and change your life for the better is eligible for scrutiny and change.

• Social programming – Even the adult brain can be highly naïve, consciously/unconsciously taking in and believing what it reads, sees and hears.  Beware that social programming runs rampant on the internet, television, radio, in the print media, workplace and literally everywhere people interact with one another. The brain cannot discern truth from falsehood, particularly when it is bombarded with repetition from people you may respect. Mass hysteria and the “Henny Penny effect” can easily occur, even with intelligent and educated people. Just look about you and identify where social programming negatively and positively affects quality-of-life.  Social programming can build opinions we hold true and defend with vigor, forming the basis to attack others.

• Values – Values drive behaviors. They come from life experiences and what we hold to be “true.” We can control our behaviors and the resulting outcomes by constantly up-shifting our values to higher levels. When we experience conflict, fear and pain, it is an ideal time to examine our values and beliefs.  Questions to ask include: “How can I look at this situation differently?” “What do I really want as an outcome?” “What behaviors will give me the outcomes I want?”

• Emotional “hot buttons”- We all have many emotional hot buttons that initiate a wide range of feelings from highly negative to highly positive. Certain songs may trigger feelings of sadness or happiness, making us want to sing aloud, dance or cry. A person’s “look” or body language may set off a range of interpretations, such as acceptance, approval, rejection and judgment. Words and tone-of-voice can stimulate our emotions in positive or negative directions. Photos and imagery affect our mood state. A “tailgater” may set off “road rage” or may signal an increased need to stay calm. The thought of public speaking may generate a panic attack or provide a feeling of positive excitement.  Emotional “hot buttons” are the brain’s way to create feelings for strong memory imprints. Trying to put your brain in “neutral gear,” when your negative emotional “hot buttons” are pushed to the limits, will help you regain composure to think clearly. There is some truth to “counting slowly to ten” when you are emotional.

• Beliefs, Opinions and Prejudices – Nearly everyone thinks their perception is right, when experiencing a situation, processing it through their “brain programming” mechanism and placing it into memory. This process is continuous and subtle. There is potential for trouble, when we defend our positions, beliefs, opinions and prejudices, thinking that we are “100% correct” and other people are “wrong.” The litmus test for questioning your position is when you experience conflict with others or when barriers and obstacles seem to block you from achieving important goals and desired outcomes. Maybe this is a good time to listen to the points-of-view of others and question the validity and usefulness of your own beliefs.  Ask yourself, “Do my beliefs and opinions serve me and others in positive or negative ways?” You may be surprised at how quickly you can get back into the flow of life, when you release your tight grip on outdated and faulty thinking and take the time to understand other people’s points-of-view.

In summary, I believe that neurodiversity is an unrecognized strength of the human race that can be used constructively to improve quality-of-life. Our neurodiversity gives us what we want in life, but it also gives us what we don’t want. Faulty programming causes faulty decisions and misinterpretations of situations. The good news is that we can reprogram our brains to override what we don’t want, gaining more of what we truly desire. If you want different and better outcomes, change your thinking.

Image by Keturah Stickann via Flickr

Statistics indicate that about 1 in 10 people have some degree of hearing loss, with the prevalence of loss increasing to 3 in 10 over the age of 65. A major cause of hearing loss is thought to be loud noise from high volume music, children’s toys and industrial settings.  Safe and cheap ways to stave off the purchase of a hearing aid are wearing hearing protection in loud environments, turning down the volume and educating friends and children of these facts.

“Listening loss” is far more prevalent than “hearing loss.” About 80% of the population least prefers Auditory (listening) inputs, when taking in information. Is it any wonder that meetings are long and people don’t understand one another, when the “transmitting style” is Auditory and the preferred “receiving styles” areVisual and Kinesthetic?  Frequent mistakes are made in business and personal interactions when people have to act upon and pass on Auditory information, instructions and directions. Most students struggle in learning situations involving lectures with a minimum of things to look at and do, because the “teaching style” is misaligned with their “learning style.” The world would be more effective and peaceful if we were better listeners.

Listening Aids

Listening aids are Free. They improve relationship rapport, facilitate understanding, avoid costly mistakes and free up more available time. The practical neuroscience methods for improving listening skills shown below apply to 80% of the population. For those of you whose primary or secondary preferred pathway to receive sensory information is Auditory, you are already attentive and patient listeners, ask great questions, remember and trust what you heard and can read tone-of-voice to detect incongruence reliably; you think about the meaning of words and are good at crafting language for talks, presentations, contracts and copy.

• Be More Visual: Look at the person in face-to-face situations. Comfortable eye contact communicates that you are paying attention. Observe their body language; what is it communicating? Take notes. Let the other person see your notes. Ask them to use a white board or flip chart or outline key points on a piece of paper. This helps understanding, because you are integrating a primary sensory pathway (Visual) with Auditory.

• Be Less Visual: In a lecture situation or on the phone, close your eyes occasionally to remove visual distractions; this helps you focus on what is being said. You can still take notes with your eyes closed.

• Be More Kinesthetic: Engaging in a physical activity, such as moving about respectfully or squeezing a Koosh ball while listening, may help you process Auditory information. You may offer to take a walk or share a meal with another person who wants to have a discussion with you.

• Be More Auditory: Listen to the tone-of-voice. Is it in alignment with what is being said? Ask questions to clarify the meaning of what people are saying and any incongruence you sense between the words and tone-of-voice. Paraphrase what you heard.

In conclusion, “listening loss” is outpacing “hearing loss” at seemingly epidemic rates. The advent of smart phones with visual/kinesthetic texting, games, email and the internet seem to be further defocusing our attention from crafting and listening to the spoken word. Practical neuroscience methods easily and quickly improve listening skills, so we can have greater connectivity and richer relationships with people at home and work.

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Do you want to make and keep promises and resolutions nearly 100% of the time? What I am about to reveal is practical neuroscience-based. It requires less personal will power and time than traditional methods. Besides, there is no guilt involved with this safe and sure-fire method.

Understanding the practical neuroscience behind making and keeping promises and resolutions is your key to success. It’s simply not enough to state an intention, perhaps write it down on an index card and believe that the change will miraculously occur. This is why most people fail.

What are promises and resolutions?

Healthy and positive promises and resolutions involve changing something in your life because you see potential value. The change may reduce suffering and pain or give you something that that makes life less stressful. Healthy and positive promises and resolutions do no harm to you or others, only good occurs.

Examples of promises and resolutions include:

• being more honest and authentic
• achieving  financial peace of mind
• eradicating fear and anxiety from your life
• building strong and caring relationships
• educating yourself
• experiencing better health
• paying off the mortgage
• losing 30 pounds

Your current thinking and behaviors are the result of years of self and societal programming. What you have heard, seen and directly experienced is recorded in your memory banks; repetition and the level of emotional energy determines the power of the memory imprint.  Your memories are what drives your thinking and how you react and respond to life. Not all of your programming has served you well; if it did, there would be little to change.

The bottom-line is recognizing that “change” does not usually come easily or quickly. This is because you have to overcome established memory imprints and patterns by building new, more powerful ones that supersede and transcend the ones that have not served you well.

How to make and keep promises and resolutions

Take your time to think deeply about these questions. It’s important to write down your responses and perhaps have a candid discussion with someone you trust, who cares about your well being. These powerful, transformative practical neuroscience methods build new neural pathways for a better and less stressful life.

• What do you want to achieve? State a specific outcome, like “I weigh 30 pounds less, feel energized and run a mile in 7 minutes; I hear people ask how I do it.” Avoid stating what you don’t desire, such as “I don’t want to be fat anymore and hear people say I should lose my belly fat and exercise,” because your brain will focus on being fat and hearing the negative comments. Put your desired outcomes into “present moment language” as if you have already achieved what you want. This simple act will cause your brain to think differently and escape from negative programming. Write down your desired outcomes, look at them and say them aloud daily, with feeling and conviction.  It’s essential that you select what you want to change with great care; look at making change as a “triage” situation. Pick the one that has the greatest long-term value and increases your quality of life. Achieve one at a time before moving on to the next one.

• What are the specific behaviors that support what I want to achieve? If you have problems thinking this through, start with the negative behaviors that created what you want to change. Reverse each negative behavior into one that is positive and proactive. An example is “Eating too much rich and unhealthy food” to “Eating five small meals consisting of a healthy balance of protein, carbohydrates and fat.” Be highly specific in describing the behaviors that represent your “new self.” Develop and write down between three and five new behaviors. Construct a “mind map;” cut out photos from magazines or download images from the internet that visually depict your new actions, activities and manners. This practical neuroscience step is your navigation system for your “new and improved you.”

• What will life be like, when experiencing my new behaviors? Imagine yourself having achieved the desired changes and outcomes in your life. What does it look, feel and sound like? Are you more fulfilled and sense greater control of your life? Will you be an inspiration to others? Can you see yourself helping others improve their quality of life? Again, create a mind map and/or put together a storyboard showing what your new life looks like. You may want to combine this with the preceding visual images. These steps keep your brain motivated and focused on what you want to achieve, how to go about it with your new behaviors and what your new life will be like.

In conclusion, most people fail in keeping their promises and resolutions because they do not understand the practical neuroscience process to reprogram their brains for new behaviors. You can trust your brain to achieve new outcomes after you describe what you want in specific positive terms and envision life with your new behaviors and activities. Linking your desired outcomes with deep positive feelings keeps you focused and motivated.  Daily viewing of compelling and attractive visual images accelerates building new brain pathways to a better life. Making one resolution or promise at a time maximizes success in a shorter period of time.

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• Practical Neuroscience Approach to Personal Mastery (brainpathways.net)

Image via Wikipedia

“Peace on earth, good will toward humankind” is a high road, universal message to spread throughout the year. The message is relevant to all places and situations, regardless of one’s religious and spiritual beliefs. If you are reading this article, you undoubtedly care about others as well as yourself, the marker for “good will.”

We have been writing articles on practical neuroscience, developing brain-based human development products and doing workshops and talks since 1992. We deeply and strongly believe that practical neuroscience embraces “peace on earth and good will.” Here are some central ideas around this premise.

• We are all unique beings with different brain wiring that affects our gifts, interests, careers, emotional trigger points, relationships and the way we navigate life.

• Our brains are the most miraculous mass of protoplasm in the known universe. The brain is capable of self-analysis, growing more powerful, accessing genius thinking and solving problems.  Collective brains that share high values and goals are the most powerful transformative energy to move quality-of-life to higher plateaus.

• We all do things for our own reasons, not the reasons of others. Judging others is a form of attack that erodes good will and cooperation.

• Respecting and supporting the uniqueness and interests of other people creates good will and a more peaceful world; this is a marvelous and delightful act of kindness. Everyone wins.

• The really good news is that we are all capable of being better, kinder, healthier, happier and more successful human beings through leveraging the power of our brains.

• The world will be a much better place to live and prosper, when we focus on improving our own quality-of-life, without hindering others as they strive to do the same.

• Helping others improve their quality-of-life is a very high form of “service beyond self,” a Rotary International saying.

• Healing words like, “Thank you, Please, I appreciate and value this about you, Great job and I love you,” touch people’s hearts and minds, heal hurtful wounds and build stronger and healthier interdependent relationships.

Peace on earth begins with each individual. We must recognize that we are all doing the very best we can with the state-of-mind we are in and our available resources.  Always accept where you are with gentleness and forgiveness; recognize that your wonderful brain is your personal “Hoover Dam” to power the transformation of your life to levels beyond your wildest dreams. Helping others do the same will accelerate your personal process and is a practical, giant step to building “good will toward humankind.” Practical neuroscience works for anyone and everyone equally well.

Blessings and appreciation to you,

Stephen, Deanna,
Char, Monty and Chuck

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Image via Wikipedia

One of the landmark references to “team learning” appeared in Peter Senge’s Fifth Discipline (1990), where he said,  “The discipline of team learning starts with ‘dialogue‘, the capacity of members of a team to suspend assumptions and enter into a genuine ‘thinking together’ …. [It] also involves learning how to recognize the patterns of interaction in teams that undermine learning.”  Let’s look at, explore and expand Senge’s concept of team learning in the light of modern and practical neuroscience.

Team learning, thinking and performance form a coherent trio of what a team strives to do together. Dialogue is a method for communicating with one another about topics, situations and challenges of shared interest. The goal of dialogue includes expansion of individual and collective knowledge. Effective and successful communication requires all parties to be willing to exchange information with an open and flexible mind.

True dialogue involves understanding diverse points of view rather than defending a position and attacking others. Suspending assumptions and judgment about what’s true or false and surrendering the personal need to be right allow team members to make a giant step toward consciously learning from one another. This applies both to one-on-one and “team” dynamics in your personal and professional life.

If the true purpose of dialogue is “learning and thinking together,” perhaps most communication exchanges do not fit this description. Think about how much time the people you live and work with spend in true dialogue. “Non-dialogue” communications involve telling people what to think, defending and attacking, complaining, providing irrelevant information and emoting with the sole purpose of protecting one’s ego.

True dialogue can be conducted in two forms:

Non-directive dialogue is when two or more people get together with no specific agenda or topic. They meet in a quiet and comfortable environment, free from external interruptions and sounds. The idea of non-directive dialogue is to expose subconscious thoughts about what may be blocking or limiting team success and to reveal opportunities for breakthrough thinking. The process can be awkward and painfully slow for newcomers; expert facilitation is recommended.  At least one hour should be allotted for a session; this can be a problem when people are focused on the clock and getting visibly productive work done. Non-directive dialogue is a powerful and transformative procedure for team members who trust one another, feel safe in each other’s presence, are daring and willing to be vulnerable, and have the desire to “leapfrog” team performance.

Directive dialogue revolves around exchanging information important to team performance, with the goal of building core competencies, creating and improving products and services, solving problems and making good decisions. This can occur in meetings, retreats, email exchanges, phone conversations and teleconferences. Directive dialogue sessions have great potential for leveraging team member’s know-how and decreasing communication time. Teams rarely think about aligning their people’s interests and competencies with subject matter and the best ways and times to communicate, but team productivity and performance will soar when teams develop and implement their communication methodologies.

The missing link for team communication success is statistically validated information about each person’s sensory and cognitive pathway strengths for learning, thinking and communicating. This knowledge helps the team communicate effectively with one another and leverages their collective brainpower for “whole brain thinking.”  Foundational practical neuroscience data on how team member’s brains are wired for success is the basis for exceptional team learning, thinking and performance.

In conclusion, dialogue, whether directive or non-directive, is the “high road” pathway for team learning and thinking success. It involves suspending judgment, opinions and positions.  Successful dialogue requires open and flexible minds to understand diverse perceptions, observations and thinking.  There is no right or wrong in true dialogue; what matters the most is the apparent best course of action for the good of the team and its stakeholders. All teams benefit from leveraging their brain strengths for communication success. Practical neuroscience methods such as these are the ideal solution to strengthen team communication and accelerate team learning, resulting in greater team success.

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Peter Senge describes “building shared vision” as “a practice of unearthing shared pictures of the future that foster genuine commitment and enrollment rather than compliance.” His description and application applies, not only to teams and organizations, but also to couples, family units and any group of people that comes together for a common purpose. I want to share a fun and dynamic methodology to make shared visions real and meaningful for all the participants.

The characteristics and benefits of shared vision include:

• Visual portrayal of everyone’s  “picture of success”
• Focus on collective and mutually beneficial future outcomes
• Everyone’s voice is heard, respected and acknowledged
• Visibility of the group’s values that help guide “high road” behaviors
• Stakeholder buy-in, commitment and involvement
• Group and organizational performance excellence and sustainability

This practical neuroscience method has been field tested extensively with groups ranging from 3 to 50 people. The group participants may be a family, social organization, church committee, board of directors, sports team, business department or an entire organization. The process can be replicated multiple times in an organization to cover hundreds or thousands of people.

The Basics

• Every group member willing to participate is included without exception.

• The meeting room should accommodate all participants to sit in a semi-circle, stand and move about. Less than 30 participants at a time are recommended to allow for maximal participation and keep sessions under 2 hours.

• A large, smooth and unobstructed white board or wall, with space to post 7-10 flip chart pages, is required in front of participant seating. The flip charts are where the participants place their shared vision notes.

• Each participant is given an 8 1/2” X 11” paper with 6-8 colored Post-It notes. Additional Post-Its are available upon request.

• A skilled, non-participating facilitator, known for open-mindedness, flexibility and non-judgment should lead the session.

• No interruptions or questions are allowed when participants share their “pictures of success.”

• Order of participation is voluntary; everyone participates.

• Pre and post-applause for all participants is recommended.

The Process

1. The facilitator welcomes the group and explains the process and ground rules for sharing. Post-It notes and colored pens are provided for all participants.

2. Each person records a single idea of his or her vision, picture and description of success, per Post-It note. Description may be a key word, short phrase, value, headline, symbol, color, image, outcome, book, movie, song, event, award, number, dollar amount, sound, feeling, picture or virtually whatever comes to mind. Maximum of 12 ideas per person.

3. Pre-Applause for first volunteer. First Post-It is placed on any one Flip Chart page and said aloud for everyone to hear. Subsequent ideas are placed next to similar/associated themes or on a separate flip chart if the idea doesn’t seem to relate to the others. Post-applause with no comments or questions.

4. Pre-applause and post-applause for subsequent volunteers until all participants have shared their vision of success. The process reveals a colorful galaxy of “cluster pattern” themes that constitute the group’s “shared vision.”

5. The facilitator invites the group to walk around the flip charts for a closer look, name the themes and realign individual notes. Themes may include legacy, values, goals, customer benefits, team benefit and so forth.

6. The facilitator asks the group if any theme should be dropped because it is less important than the others are. All the groups I have facilitated say all themes are connected and equally important; this response is ideal and should be expected. The facilitator asks the group if they feel their voice has been heard and respected.  Finally, participants are given the opportunity to voice their takeaways and closing comments.

7. The flip charts and Post-It notes are photographed, transcribed and distributed to each participant. This process continues until all smaller groups, constituting the larger group/organization, have gone through their shared vision sessions. It is strongly advised that the materials be transformed into a colorful mind map for daily viewing, communications, meetings and events. The mind map should be magnified to poster size and hung in large reception areas or other areas where people learn, work and communicate. Smaller versions are made available for every participant.

In conclusion, implementing a “shared vision” session is immensely rewarding for all participants, their organization and the people they serve and interact with. The process connects each person’s mind, body and heart in a respectful way. It brings people together to work with shared purpose, common goals and desired outcomes. Creating a shared vision builds morale, trust and cooperation; it leverages the brainpower and heart power of the group for outstanding and sustainable outcomes.

Related articles

• Practical Neuroscience Tools For Systems Thinking (brainpathways.net)