Posts tagged ‘communication’

March 16, 2011

Communicating on Their Wavelength: How to Connect With Kinesthetic Communicators

Talking while walking

Image by k_paulinka via Flickr

Do you have a spouse, friend or business associate with strong preferences for Kinesthetic communications? If you communicate similarly to them, you probably have some natural rapport based on physical action, movement and touch as a preferred way to receive information. If you prefer Visual (seeing information) or Auditory (hearing information) interactions over Kinesthetic, you and the other person may be experiencing strained and difficult communications. This is because both of you may not be receiving information on your preferred “wavelengths”, thus creating misunderstandings and frustration.

Everyone has their own unique and distinct preferences for taking in and processing sensory information, instructions, directions, requests and questions. When you customize and align your “transmitting style” with another’s preferred “receiving style,” you increase the probability for greater rapport and understanding. This neuroscience principle has enormous implications in all human relationships.

The following steps help you identify and connect with the Kinesthetic communicators in your life. Powerful neuroscience tools tune you into “kinesthetic wavelength” preferences to receive information, resulting in instant rapport, understanding and respect.

Step I: Identifying Kinesthetic Communicators

  • Strengths: Moving into physical action quickly, with a minimum of visual and auditory information; hands-on activities; operating vehicles, equipment and tools;“gut feel” for people and situations

  • Irritations: Physical discomfort; confined spaces; delays and obstacles; insufficient hands-on activities and things to physically do; long meetings with infrequent breaks; people who talk at rapid rates of speed
  • Enjoy: Hands-on activities; driving and moving about; building and repairing things; travel; sports; touching

Step II: Connecting to Kinesthetic Communicators

  • Universal Strategies: Seek to understand the other person’s point-of-view before expressing yours. Allow people to complete their thoughts and expressions before asking questions and trying to “second guess” what they are thinking. Make no assumptions and stay in the present moment. Keep an open mind.

  • Environment: Select a comfortable environment with freedom to move about. Kinesthetic communicators usually respond positively to taking a walk, playing golf, driving and mealtime communications. Having things to handle (e.g. koosh ball, models, table-toys, pens and pencils) facilitates their processing.

  • Primary Strategies: Kinesthetic communicators need to process what they see and/or hear with movement and physical action. Provide things to look at and touch. Combine walking, meals and field trips with discussions or reviewing materials. When pauses occur, allow time for “kinesthetic processing” (getting a feel for the information or situation.) Match their vocal speed; don’t talk too fast. Allow breaks every 20 minutes. Think: “What is their body language telling me? How can I incorporate more physical action into our communications?”

  • Use Kinesthetic Language: Kinesthetic communicators use and prefer language like: Feels good/bad. I have a gut feel about this. Let’s do it. I have a handle on this. Pull some strings. Get moving.

In conclusion, it’s easy to identify and connect with Kinesthetic communicators using simple and powerful neuroscience tools. This brain-based approach tunes you into their preferred “kinesthetic wavelength” to receive information, which results in instant rapport, understanding and respect. These principles and practices are applicable to intimate relationships, families, business, government and sales situations. How and what to communicate are two sides of the same coin. Most people focus on the “what” and wonder why some communications fail.

March 11, 2011

Communicating on Their Wavelength: How to Connect With Visual Communicators

flip chart 2.0

Image by velkr0 via Flickr

If you experience communication conflict with your spouse, friend or business associate, perhaps they are visual communicators and you have strong auditory or kinesthetic preferences. These differences may be the source of frustration and misunderstandings. Visual communicators have a natural ability to focus on visual detail, order, color and design. They need to “see,” visually, what you are attempting to communicate. They usually speak in a rapid tempo. Their clothing and accessories tend to be color coordinated and their work places are organized and attractive.

Aligning your “transmitting style” with their “receiving style” is the key to increasing the probability for greater rapport and understanding. This neuroscience principle has enormous implications in all human relationships. Everyone has their own unique and distinct preferences for taking in and processing sensory information, instructions, directions, requests and questions.

If you want good relationships, it’s important to identify the strongest preference for receiving information of the person with whom you’re communicating and then align your “transmitting style” to their “receiving style.”

Step I: How to Identify Visual Communicators

  • Strengths: Seeing, watching and proofreading; quality control observations; design, graphics, photography and art; remembering faces and what was seen; paying attention to visual detail and seeing things other people may miss
  • Irritations: Absence of visual media in information and requests from others; confusing visual material; visual disorder and clutter; unattractive environments; can’t find things; people who talk slower than them
  • Enjoy: Email, movies, magazines, people watching, museums, art, nature, doodling

Step II: How to Connect with Visual Communicators

  • General Strategies: Seek to understand the other person’s point-of-view before expressing yours. Allow people to complete their thoughts and expressions before asking questions and trying to “second guess” what they are thinking. Make no assumptions and stay in the present moment. Keep an open mind.
  • Visual Environment: Select an attractive, clean and organized environment. Use flip chart, white board, sketchpad, colored pens, pencils and markers to present and record information.
  • How to Communicate: Furnish visual information before and after all meetings and interactions involving progress reports, summaries, decisions, problem solving, instructions and directions. Visual information should be neat, attractive, organized and contain concise key points with a minimum of words. Use mind maps, graphs, charts, symbols and images. Employ flip charts and white boards. Even writing or drawing on a paper napkin during mealtime will help facilitate communication. Think:What can I ‘show’ these people that will help them understand?”
  • Employ Visual Language: Visual communicators use and prefer language like: Show me. Looks good. Draw me a picture. Look at it this way. I can’t see it. That’s clear to me. Things look bright and rosy.

In conclusion, it’s fast and easy to bond with Visual communicators using simple and powerful neuroscience tools. This brain-based approach aligns you with their visual preference for receiving information. The result is better relationships, greater understanding and shorter communication time. These neuroscience methods apply to intimate relationships, families, business and sales situations. How you communicate is as important as what you communicate. Most people only focus on what they are trying to communicate and then they are surprised when they don’t get their point across.

March 2, 2011

Communicate on Their Wavelength: How to Connect With Auditory Communicators

Phone Call

Image by corydalus via Flickr

Do you have a spouse, friend or business associate with strong preferences for Auditory communications? If you communicate similarly to them, you probably have some natural rapport, based on your preference for listening to the meaning of words to receive information. If you prefer Kinesthetic (movement, touch, physical action) or Visual (seeing information) interactions over Auditory, you and the other person may be experiencing strained and difficult communications. This is because both of you may not be receiving information on your preferred wavelengths, thus creating frustration over misunderstandings.

Everyone has their own unique and distinct preferences for taking in and processing sensory information, instructions, directions, requests and questions. When you customize and align your “transmitting style” with another’s preferred “receiving style,” you increase the probability for greater rapport and understanding. This neuroscience principle has enormous implications in all human relationships.

The following steps help you identify and connect with the Auditory communicators in your life. Powerful neuroscience tools tune you into “auditory wavelength” preferences for receiving information, resulting in instant rapport, understanding and respect.

Step I: Identifying Auditory Communicators

  • Strengths: Listening, discussions and asking questions; remembering sounds, words, what was heard and the tone-of-voice in which things were said; negotiations; crafting language

  • Irritations: Unexpected noise or sound while listening and working; interruptions while working or speaking;  people not paying attention and questioning what they say
  • Enjoy: Long discussions, debate, talk shows, theatre, phone calls, listening to voice mail and “playing back” conversations

Step II: Connecting to Auditory Communicators

  • Universal Strategies: Seek to understand the other person’s point-of-view before expressing yours. Allow people to complete their thoughts and expressions before asking questions and trying to “second guess” what they are thinking. Make no assumptions and stay in the present moment. Keep an open mind.

  • Environment: Select a quiet, peaceful and interruption free environment that is conducive to deep respectful listening.

  • Primary Strategies: Focus on what’s being said and their tone-of-voice. Maintain comfortable eye contact in face-to-face interactions. Take notes, if appropriate, to help you concentrate and show respect. When on the phone, close your eyes to remove visual distractions and focus on listening. Ask questions to clarify what’s being communicated. Periodically, paraphrase what you hear to confirm understanding. Allow ample time for processing information, asking and answering questions. Think: “What words can I use to help them understand me? What are they trying to convey to me with their words?”

  • Use Auditory Language: Auditory communicators use and prefer language like: I hear you loud and clear. Music to my ears. Tell me. Listen to this. Did you hear what I just said? Let me tell you what I think.

In conclusion, it’s easy to identify and connect with Auditory communicators using simple and powerful neuroscience tools. This brain-based approach tunes you into their preferred “auditory wavelength” to receive information, resulting in instant rapport, understanding and respect. These principles and practices apply to intimate relationships, families, business, government and sales situations, so you can connect with all of the Auditory communicators in your life.

February 17, 2011

Are You Playing With a Full Deck?

President Obama confers with senior advisors i...

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Do you know how your brain is wired to process information, make decisions, solve problems and perform specific kinds of work most effectively? Are your trusted advisor’s brains wired the same or different than yours? While there is no good or bad way to think, you are not playing with a full deck unless you and your trusted advisors have a balance of cognitive thinking brain strengths in each of three categories.

Some people favor “left brain”  thinking and activities that are sequential, logical, orderly and predictable; other people prefer using their “right brain” for global, imaginative, creative and open-ended thinking; people in the third group are “Integrated”, preferring to think and work using a near equal balance of their left and right hemispheres.

How do you know you’re playing with a full deck? Just complete the 3 simple steps below:

Step I - Select the category that best describes you.

Category I – Left Brain (Sequential)

Close friends and associates may describe you as orderly, logical, practical and realistic. You think about and process information, data and facts in an organized, step-by-step manner. You prefer work with specific goals, schedules, processes and procedures, rather than open-ended situations with broad goals. You thrive in environments rich in logic, orderliness and timeliness. You prefer to complete one task at a time before starting another. You may get agitated if you have to juggle too many tasks at one time. You may make and follow lists. You prefer to solve problems and make decisions based on logic, facts and figures.

Category II – Right Brain (Global)

Close friends and associates may describe you as innovative, conceptual and visionary. You pay attention to broad goals, context, possibilities, and the “big picture”. You likely prefer for other people to manage process-driven, daily work involving high levels of repetition, accuracy and detail. You enjoy multi-tasking and moving from one thing to another. You get pleasure from systemic thinking, ideation, figuring out how things connect, and creating new ways to solve problems. You thrive in environments rich in concepts, innovation and new thinking. You seldom make and follow lists.

Category III Balanced (Integrated)

Close friends and associates may describe you as having the natural ability to understand diverse points of view. You process situations and information using an equal balance of Sequential (“left brain”) and Global (“right brain”) thinking. You understand and appreciate the Global world of open-ended possibilities, creativity and new thinking, and the Sequential world of tactical implementation, logic and practicality. You are good at negotiating and facilitating interpersonal situations. You get bored and lose interest in situations when there is an imbalance of Global and Sequential thinking and activities; variety and choice are important to you.

Step II – Identify your trusted advisors and select the category best describing them. Trusted advisors may be your spouse, employees, best friend, business associates, banker, accountant, attorney, consultants and other service providers.

Step III – Do your trusted advisors share your cognitive thinking strengths or do they have different strengths? You want one or more people in each of the three categories in order to have a “full deck.” Then ask yourself these two questions to determine whether you’re playing your full deck properly.

  • Are my trusted advisor’s cognitive thinking strengths aligned with what has to be accomplished? For strategic business planning you want to capture ideas, possibilities, options, future visioning and scenario planning from your strongest Global thinkers. The Sequential thinkers will contribute logic, order, performance metrics, schedules, practicality and budgets to the planning process. The Integrated thinkers will bridge gaps and negotiate between the Sequential and Global thinkers when there is conflict, confusion or misunderstanding.
  • What are my daily time wasters? Can I delegate these to one or more of my trusted advisors, who may be more motivated and better aligned to complete the activities? It’s easy to determine what category of thinking strengths applies to a specific task. Accounting is clearly a Sequential activity; creative problem solving is well suited for Global thinkers; managing in chaotic and rapidly changing environments is well suited for Integrated thinkers.

In conclusion, the greater the diversity of cognitive thinking, the greater the potential. A balance of thinking styles minimizes faulty assumptions and mistakes. You are likely to make better decisions, solve difficult problems quickly, and accomplish more, when you align work activities with your and your trusted advisor’s cognitive thinking strengths.

January 19, 2011

Words That Wound and Heal

Official presidential portrait of Barack Obama...

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On Wednesday, January 13, 2011, President Obama addressed a memorial service for those killed and injured during a mass shooting in Arizona. The President urged Americans to “make sure that we are talking with each other in a way that heals, not a way that wounds.” This statement is a wake-up call to think deeper about the manner in which we communicate with one another. You may be surprised to learn who the first injured person is from “wounding words”. What is your strategy when you are on the receiving end of unkind, harsh and unpleasant words? Practical neuroscience provides strategies on how to communicate with “healing words” and what to do when in a “wounding word” environment. Imagine what daily life would be like if you and the people with whom you associate communicated in kinder and more respectful ways.

Examples

Wounding Words:

  • I hate you
  • You’re stupid
  • You’re wrong
  • You’re worthless

The list is deliberately short. How do you feel when you see these and related words in print, say them aloud or hear someone else speak them? Do these words and the thoughts behind them have any enduring value? Do they build good will, self worth and esteem? Are they good and decent foundational language for healthy long-term relationships?

Healing Words:

  • I love you
  • I appreciate you
  • Thank you
  • Please
  • You’re welcome
  • I forgive you
  • Forgive me
  • I am sorry
  • I can see you’re in pain
  • May I express my feelings and thoughts?
  • Help me understand your point of view
  • How can we coexist peacefully with different points of view?
  • These are the things I value about you
  • May I help you?

The litmus test for “healing words” is how they make you (and others) react, respond and feel. Is the experience positive, uplifting and respectful? Do they help you feel safe, valued and cared about? Are you in a better place?

Neuroscience Principles of Words

1. Words are symbols that create meaning

Words are symbols of ideas that communicate information and help us navigate life. The environment and circumstances in which we learned language strongly affects meaning and the way we respond when we see and hear specific words. Various people may react differently to the same word because it carries different meaning for each of them.

2. Words create emotions and feelings

Your brain creates feelings and emotional responses to thoughts, words, and experiential situations. These reactions range from barely discernable to extremely strong, depending on the   conditions when your memories were built. Interestingly, people tend to “feel words” after thinking about them, saying/hearing them or seeing them visually.

3. Words impact the orator and the audience

How often do we think about the impact of our thoughts and words on our own well being or the well being of others? The person thinking or saying words that wound or heal will be the first to experience the effect. The words we speak aloud or communicate visually affect us as well as our audience. Therefore, intentions and selection of words have positive or negative impact on all parties.

Strategies

There are neuroscience strategies for transmitting and receiving communications to help assure positive outcomes and protect oneself against “wounding words.”

For “transmitters” of words:

What are your desired outcomes?

Think about the purpose of your communication and the outcomes you want. Do all parties benefit or is the situation one sided? Does the purpose involve providing useful information, teaching, sharing points of view, giving instructions, making a decision or solving a problem? Will people be uplifted, feel safe and experience an improvement in quality of life?

How will you deliver your message?

Will you use healing or wounding words? Think about the state of mind, receptivity and culture of your audience. What is your mental, emotional and physical condition to craft and deliver the words by auditory and visual means? It’s best to be in top form, because your physical, mental and emotional state is projected into the audience experience.

Use your head and heart

Use your head to think about your desired outcomes and how you will deliver your message. Imagine speaking through your heart, using it as the transmitter to deliver kind, caring and polite messages. When communicating from your heart, you may be surprised by the reaction from your audience as well as by what you experience.

For “receivers” of words:

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me”

This well known expression contains great wisdom. How can words really harm us? It’s our emotional response and interpretation that give us a wounding or healing experience. When in a “wounding word” situation, say this quote aloud and think about the principles behind it. Refrain from retaliating with an attack because you will hurt yourself and others. Try thinking “healing thoughts” and using “healing words” to neutralize the situation.

Trust tone of voice and body language more than the words

Pay attention to people’s tone of voice and body language. They convey a person’s state of mind and possible intentions. An angry tone, profanity, facial and body tension will tend to wound regardless of the words. A calm and caring voice, using the person’s name, respectful manners and comfortable eye contact will create a healing environment, assuming the words are congruent.

In conclusion, using “healing words” is a choice leading to positive outcomes for all parties. When in a hostile environment, fraught with wounding words, defuse the situation with “healing thoughts and words.” Consider role modeling and teaching the principles and practices of “healing words” to people you trust, who are interested in making positive changes in the world.

December 8, 2010

The Dark Side of Personal and Business Communications

Stars Wars - Darth Vader - Face

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If you’ve ever felt abused, insulted, angry, drained and resentful, you may have experienced the “dark side” of a communication interaction. Do you have the tools to analyze and understand what happened and how the situation could have been prevented? Is it possible that you may unconsciously create “dark side” outcomes for others? By shedding light on the “dark side” we become more aware of how intentions and methods impact upon people on the receiving end. Better and more fulfilling outcomes occur when focusing upon win-win “high road” personal and business communications.

Two simple questions and examples help you know the differences between “dark side” and “high road” communications.

1. What was/is the purpose of the communication?

Dark Side: People on the “transmitting end” seek power and control over others for self-interests or “emotional juice” for self-gratification. People on the “receiving end” experience loss of time, trust, motivation, self-esteem, physical property, money and reputation.

High Road: People on the “transmitting” and “receiving” end receive positive outcomes including understanding one another, building trust and relationships, gaining consensus and agreement, learning and teaching, sharing points-of-view, providing information, giving instructions and directions, making decisions and solving problems.

2. How was/is the communication delivered?

Dark Side: The communication methods are manipulative and/or highly authoritarian with a tone that threatens punishment if one does not accept or comply with the demands and requirements. Litmus tests for “dark side” communications include self-interests versus couple or group interests. Look for the ratio of “telling” versus “asking” for input and support. If the communication looks bad, feels bad and sounds bad, it’s probably a “dark side” communication.

High Road: The contrast is dramatically different from the “dark side.” You feel engaged and a part of the situation and solution. There are positive outcomes for all parties where no one gets hurt or compromises their values. If it’s a career situation, you can see the importance of what may be required of you for the benefit of the company’s positive sustainability. There is always a sense of fairness, equity and respect for all parties on a one-on-one or group basis. You feel respected and trust is built as a result of the communication. Relationships always get stronger on the “high road.”

The “dark side” is characterized by attacking and defending positions, getting your way at the expense of others with one sided or lopsided outcomes. “High road” communications result in no one gaining something at the expense of another. The best outcome is positive outcomes for all parties. “High road” outcomes result when well-meaning people with integrity pause and think about the purposes and methods of their communications. “High road” communications result in personal relationships characterized by harmony, growth, trust and respect; business outcomes also include high employee engagement, productivity and loyalty.

It’s essential in personal and business relationships to communicate on each others’ sensory and cognitive thinking “wavelengths.” This builds rapport and saves valuable time. Find comprehensive tools to improve communication effectiveness with anyone by 25% to 40% or more at http://www.brainpathways.net.

December 2, 2010

Three Golden Rules for Communication Success

Bust of Socrates in the Vatican Museum

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Have you been passionate about communicating something important to others, but have not received the acknowledgment, attention and outcomes you envisioned? Three “golden rules” for communication success are neuroscience-based methods that draw people into engaging with you and improve the probability of reaching win-win outcomes. They engender respect, build trust and improve relationships.

Golden Rule #1: People do things for their reasons, not yours.

The brain only engages with listening, observing, thinking and action when a value component is present. The value can be feeling important, being needed or reaching out and helping someone because it’s the right thing to do. It may be intellectual curiosity, solving a nagging life problem or acquiring a physical possession. The reason is irrelevant. Any reason the brain deems valuable gets the brain’s attention. If you don’t know the “hot buttons” of a person or group, try using phrases like: “I have a problem and need your help.” “Will you take a look at a situation that may change your life for the better?” “Is this a good time to ask your opinion about something that may interest you?” Make sure the “attention getter” has integrity, serving the best and highest interests of the person or group you are addressing.

Golden Rule #2: Do it the Socratic way.

Provide information with a minimum of “telling.” Maximize asking questions that draw the person into the communication process, thus encouraging an exchange of information and insights, rather than a one-sided monologue. Questions expand insights and integrate knowledge into common understanding, consensus, solutions and pathways to positive action. Asking Socratic questions is a life skill that anyone can learn. You can start the process now by beginning conversations and presentations with “what, why, when and how.” Everyone learns with this method and you can be the facilitator of this dynamic and fun learning process.

Golden Rule #3: Communicate on the wavelength of your audience or listener

Visual Learners Need:  Visual media, key written points, pictures, graphics, images, color, clutter-free environment

Kinesthetic Learners Need: Physical or hands-on experiences, comfort, freedom to move about, frequent breaks

Auditory Learners Need: Clarity of words, attentive listening, ability to ask questions, quiet environment

Sequential Thinkers Need: Logic, order, particulars, realism, practicality, data, schedules, content

Global Thinkers Need:  Possibilities, options, generalities, open-ended, big picture, context

These “golden rules” for communication success are neuroscience principles available to everyone interested in positive outcomes for all parties. People engage when subjects are important and valuable to them, not necessarily to you. Therefore, you must provide reasons for them to interact with you and the subject. Inclusiveness, rather than exclusiveness is the operative word. Asking open-ended questions with a minimum of telling is an ancient Socratic principle of learning, more recently discovered to be based in neuroscience. Communicating on the wavelengths of others enables them to take in, process and gain understanding in the minimum amount of time.

It is essential in personal and business relationships to communicate on each other’s sensory and cognitive thinking “wavelengths.” This builds rapport and saves valuable time. Find comprehensive tools to improve communication effectiveness with anyone by 25% to 40% or more at http://www.brainpathways.net.

November 17, 2010

Next Mega Trend Revealed: The Century of the Brain

There is a wonderful mega trend evolving in front of your eyes that you can prepare for now. This trend is your passport for a better and more peaceful life. It’s difficult to see mega trends and think clearly when you are an active participant in the midst of chaos. It’s like the expression “can’t see the forest for the trees.”

A new exhibit from the American Museum of Natural History focuses on what we’ve learned about the brain and advances in neuroscience.

The economic situation, high unemployment, unstable financial markets, low consumer confidence, rising costs of health care, failing public education, population explosion, feeding a hungry world and political distrust are actually fueling the arrival of the Century of The Brain. This mega trend is emerging rapidly because it’s where the solutions to our problems and better future lie. The Century of The Brain is about:

  • Neuroscience and the power of your brain
  • Working smarter, not harder
  • Using our brains more than our brawn
  • Thinking and acting inclusively rather than selfishly
  • Integrating our “heads” with our “hearts”
  • Getting everyone willingly involved in creative thinking
  • Implementing innovative solutions to our vexing challenges
  • Communicating more effectively with one another
  • Experiencing greater harmony, cooperation and collaboration
  • Engaging in continuous learning and improvement
  • Growing our collective brain power for a better life and better planet

The collective thinking that created our global and local situations cannot develop solutions to the problems it created. Much prior thought was tainted by greed, self interests, power and control. Many decisions were based on short-term gains driven by selfish and destructive narcissistic behavior. It’s insanity to believe that new outcomes will emerge from repeating old thinking and behaviors from the brains that created our reality.

Isn’t it time to come together to build a better life for our children, our grandchildren and ourselves? Perhaps enough of us can create a critical mass to make a difference. My personal challenge to you is to learn how your brain is wired, what makes you tick, your strengths and how to use your biggest and priceless asset…Your Personal Brain Power. This step will make an immediate difference in your personal life for better thinking and decisions, relationships and career success.

Teaching is the highest form of learning and everyone wins when you teach and role model important principles and practices for good purposes. My second challenge is to teach family members, friends and the people you work with what you are learning about neuroscience and brain power. You will become a valued pioneer in The Century of The Brain. Deanna and I truly believe this is something we can do together, now. Will you join us?

Brain PathWays is the most advanced science based system to accurately identify your sensory and cognitive thinking strengths and “blind spots.” The site is loaded with Free Resources including Daily Messages from Your Brain and the Brain PathWays Blog to “discover your strengths to navigate your life in the Century of The Brain.”

November 10, 2010

Saving a Relationship at Risk

Relationships at risk are painful and challenging; particularly when they are with someone you love or have to work with every day. You may not know what’s wrong and what to do about it, but you sure know that something is wrong due to the tension. Your imagination may run wild with assumptions and conclusions. You may create a position that you are “right” and the other person is “wrong.” This approach to communications often morphs from a “relationship at risk” to a “failed relationship.”

The problem may not be for the reasons you think. Relationship conflict often has more to do with “how” you communicate with one another than with “what” (subject matter). Understanding each other’s point-of-view must come before deciding to agree, disagree or on a course-of-action. When you and other people transmit and receive communications on different wavelengths, misunderstanding and confusion may occur with any subject. Doesn’t it make sense to understand how you and the important people in your life prefer to receive and process information? This understanding creates greater harmony in relationships even when you have different points-of-view.

Each brain has a primary sensory preference to receive information. Which of these are your strongest and weakest? What are the sensory preferences of the person with whom you are experiencing problems? Are their strengths the same or different than yours?

  • Kinesthetic (“body smart”): Prefer to move, touch and fidget, action is paramount
  • Visual (“picture smart”): Prefer to see and observe information, pictures, few words
  • Auditory (“word smart”): Prefer to hear information and ask questions to clarify meaning

Each individual’s brain has a preference for how sensory information is presented. Which category can you relate to the most and least? Now do the same thing for the other person. Are their cognitive thinking strengths the same or different than yours?

  • Global (“big picture” smart): Prefer open ended situations with option and possibilities
  • Sequential (“logic smart”): Prefer logic, order, sequence, realism and practicality
  • Integrated (both “big picture” and “logic smart”)

There are thousands of different sensory and cognitive thinking communication combinations. You can see why communication success varies. Few people have the knowledge and tools to communicate effectively based on brain wiring. Just look around you and observe how much time people spend in meetings arguing and driving home their points-of-view.

As a starting point, share this article with the other person and compare your sensory and cognitive thinking preferences. It doesn’t matter if you are the same or different. What matters most is respecting each other’s strengths and communicating on each other’s “wavelength.” This is the quick start solution to mend and grow your relationship. You’ll see amazing results.

The simple and powerful solution to this age old communication problem is discovering how you and people important to you prefer to receive and process information. Communicating on each others wavelength creates amazing results. You may want to check out www.brainpathways.net, to learn how your brain is wired and how to use it for communication success and relationship risk management.

October 27, 2010

Everyone’s Doing the Best They Can

Does the title seem a bit outrageous, particularly when you observe sub-par performance in someone from whom you expect more? That someone may be you or a person you work or live with. Rather than moving into judgment, let’s examine why everyone is doing the best they can. Perhaps you will be kinder to yourself and others after understanding the underlying neuroscience principles of performance excellence. These insights improve relationships by suspending judgment and raise the bar for other areas you want to improve.

Think about something you recently did poorly but with which you have a good track record. Were you calm or in a stressed state? Was the physical environment right? Were you thinking too much about the activity rather than trusting your instincts and training? Were you worried or experiencing pain? Your physical environment and brain-body state has significant impact on performance. This applies to doing something you are good at or learning something entirely new. “State” is the first part of understanding why people are doing the best they can. The other part is “resources.”

Resources are your skill sets, knowledge and physical equipment. People can be considered “resources” when they are an integral part of the activity in which you are engaged. Let’s take tennis as an example. Are the racquet, clothing and shoes comfortable and in good working order? Have you researched your opponent and developed your game plan? Do you have the skills and stamina to execute the shots and moves? Are your friends and coach present to support and cheer you on to victory? If not, your resources may be inadequate to get the outcomes you want.

State-of-mind and resources work hand-in-hand to achieve performance excellence. If one or both are lacking and not working together, performance will suffer. When you experience yourself or others performing poorly in relationships, work and life choices, think about the “state-resources connection” to suspend judgment and understand the dynamics of what’s going on.

You can increase your performance in any activity by utilizing the neuroscience principles of state and resources. Pilots use pre-flight checklists to gain awareness of their state and resources. This includes how they and their crew are feeling, as well as their equipment, aircraft environment, flight plan, weather conditions and other factors. Develop your own checklist for the activities you want to improve. Consider both “state” and “resources” as you create and use your lists for practice and performance. Integrating these two elements will get your brain and body connected and engaged to achieve performance excellence.

Self awareness and mastery of your sensory and cognitive thinking pathway strengths is essential to experience performance excellence. You must know how your brain is wired and what makes you tick to build knowledge, competencies and skills. Your comprehensive and personalized 14-page Brain PathWays report is available on www.brainpathways.net. Brain PathWays is the world leader in practical neuroscience for better daily living.

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