Golden Rules for Communication Success
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Have you been passionate about communicating something important to others, but have not received the acknowledgment, attention and outcomes you envisioned? Three “golden rules” for communication success are neuroscience-based methods that draw people into engaging with you and improve the probability of reaching win-win outcomes. They engender respect, build trust and improve relationships.
Golden Rule #1: People do things for their reasons, not yours.
The brain only engages with listening, observing, thinking and action when a value component is present. The value can be feeling important, being needed or reaching out and helping someone because it’s the right thing to do. It may be intellectual curiosity, solving a nagging life problem or acquiring a physical possession. The reason is irrelevant. Any reason the brain deems valuable gets the brain’s attention. If you don’t know the “hot buttons” of a person or group, try using phrases like: “I have a problem and need your help.” “Will you take a look at a situation that may change your life for the better?” “Is this a good time to ask your opinion about something that may interest you?” Make sure the “attention getter” has integrity, serving the best and highest interests of the person or group you are addressing.
Golden Rule #2: Do it the Socratic way.
Provide information with a minimum of “telling.” Maximize asking questions that draw the person into the communication process, thus encouraging an exchange of information and insights, rather than a one-sided monologue. Questions expand insights and integrate knowledge into common understanding, consensus, solutions and pathways to positive action. Asking Socratic questions is a life skill that anyone can learn. You can start the process now by beginning conversations and presentations with “what, why, when and how.” Everyone learns with this method and you can be the facilitator of this dynamic and fun learning process.
Golden Rule #3: Communicate on the wavelength of your audience or listener
Visual Learners Need: Visual media, key written points, pictures, graphics, images, color, clutter-free environment
Kinesthetic Learners Need: Physical or hands-on experiences, comfort, freedom to move about, frequent breaks
Auditory Learners Need: Clarity of words, attentive listening, ability to ask questions, quiet environment
Sequential Thinkers Need: Logic, order, particulars, realism, practicality, data, schedules, content
Global Thinkers Need: Possibilities, options, generalities, open-ended, big picture, context
These “golden rules” for communication success are neuroscience principles available to everyone interested in positive outcomes for all parties. People engage when subjects are important and valuable to them, not necessarily to you. Therefore, you must provide reasons for them to interact with you and the subject. Inclusiveness, rather than exclusiveness is the operative word. Asking open-ended questions with a minimum of telling is an ancient Socratic principle of learning, more recently discovered to be based in neuroscience. Communicating on the wavelengths of others enables them to take in, process and gain understanding in the minimum amount of time.
It is essential in personal and business relationships to communicate on each other’s sensory and cognitive thinking “wavelengths.” This builds rapport and saves valuable time.
Author Message:
You may not be aware that our organization is a trusted and respected source of reliable practical neuroscience solutions for personal and organizational development. We have been creating and delivering brain-based human development solutions, since 1992. The message that follows directs you to a quick, easy, and low cost solution you may be searching for.
Are you experiencing strained and difficult communications with a family member, co-worker or friend? Feeling misunderstood and unappreciated are tell-tale signs of a deteriorating relationship. Put the Golden Rules to work now. Your difficulties may be due to big gaps in the ways you both communicate. Your Brain PathWays report gives you what you need to know and do to get on other peoples “wavelength.” You can repair, rebuild and improve important relationships now with powerful practical neuroscience communication tools for exceptional rapport. Click to purchase your Brain PathWays online self-assessment and download your report today.
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Dear Michelle,
Thank you for listing our article “Three Golden Rules for Communication Success” on your blog site and article “I Am Not Responsible For Your Feeling.”. I read your article and agree with your insights and advice. People would be a lot happier if they just took responsiblitiy for their own thinking and feelings rather than feeling responsible for others. It’s an endles and meaningless cycle when you get into other peoples “stuff.” I feel the highest service you can be to others is to be the best and highest person you can be; this means constant awarenss of your thougths, words and actions and the impact they have on you and the people you interact with. Continuous awareness coupled with continuous improvment is the key to growth. Does this make sense to you?
We work in the field of practical neuroscience to help people live a better, more prosperous and peaceful life with less stress. I wish more people knew that feelings are electrochemical reactions to thougths. Feelings are manufactured from the brain processing and interpreting information. The information doesn’t even have to be the truth. Think about the “henny penny” effect. Its running crazy today and doing no good at all. It’s better to stay calm, evaluate observable information, consult with “level headed” trusted advisors before getting into a frenzied state and taking action you may regret later. I would enjoy learning your insights on this!
Best and kindest regards,
Stephen Hager
The Hadron Group
Creators of brain based human development tools since 1992
http://www.brainpathways.net
Wonderful site you have here but I was curious about if you knew of any message boards
that cover the same topics talked about in this article?
I’d really love to be a part of group where I can get feedback from other knowledgeable people
that share the same interest. If you have any suggestions, please let me know.
Many thanks!